The service and loyalty I owe, in doing it, pays itself.

I'm pretty pure when it comes to this acting game.  I have been at it a very long time.  And the reason I'm still doing it is that I love telling these stories!  I don't make very much money doing it.  I'm not doing some sort of showcase to get an agent or "launch my career."  I go to parks, pull platforms out of a truck, set up a stage and get to perform the greatest stories ever written.  That is "the be all and the end all" of my service and reward.  And it is enough. 

I have so many friends that have thrown themselves at "the industry" and burned out.  I see so many actors asking "what's in it for me?"  People turn down the opportunity to tour with us because they don't want to make their agents angry.  And I get it.  "Hollywood" is very seductive.  I've catered at the Governor's Ball many times...waiting on Oscar winners.  And every time I did, I vowed to myself that I would be on the other side of the equation someday.  But that isn't the path I've chosen, or one that I really want to explore.  One of the happiest days of my life is the day I decided I was never going to go on another commercial audition again.  That was fifteen years ago, and literally every good thing in my career has happened since I stopped that nonsense.  (for me.  Now many people are able to make a living doing commercials and it doesn't kill their souls...I admire them.  But I simply couldn't do it anymore). 

The amazing thing about Shakespeare by the Sea is that it attracts only the truest of storytellers.  Those artists who love to get down and dirty and sweat and bleed for this thing, and for one another.  Every year we become a family, and every year the family gets a little bigger.  There is a lot of love, and no small amount of squabbling. (more some years than others). That's family.  But when I couldn't continue in Shrew, Greg and Cy stepped in.  Because they are my family.  We take care of one another.  Gladly.

There are these people who come up after the show, who've never seen Shakespeare before (or even a play) and who fumble to articulate what it meant to them--that's better than any check I ever received from doing a commercial.  In a very cynical, self-serving time in our nation, when half the population seemingly wants all the poor people in the world to die, we are doing what we can for the public good.  To provide two hours of art/entertainment/comfort/joy doing that which is in our power to do to offset the cynicism-- The hatred.--We are building community (communities).  And some families spend their summers following us around from park to park.  They bring us food and smiles, hugs and encouragement.  They consider us part of their extended families.  Man...that's what it's about. 

I auditioned for a play this week (I don't do much of that, as fortunately I am at a point in my life and career where people actually seek me out to do projects with them...that's a blessing).  I was rusty and nervous.  But I have spent so much time on the other side of the table that I was able to let that go and just do my work and be a present human being in the room.  We'll see how it goes.

I'm anxious to get back to Macbeth.  (I don't know why I said anxious...the anxiety that was so much a part of this process has given way to excitement and joy).  I am so thrilled to get back to Macbeth on Saturday!  We only have one performance of it this week (A very Shrew heavy tour week).  It keeps getting better and better.  We are at that wonderful stage where we are able to play (within the parameters in which we were directed) and the show is growing.  I have always said that a show grows deeper, not bigger.  And it is.  Hopefully the extended time off doesn't halt that growth. 

I'm glad I got to spend a little more time with my nuclear family, but now I'm really excited to get back to my SBTS family!  Come on down to Rossmoor on Saturday and be a part of the fam.

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