"I have lived long enough. My way of life has fallen into the sear. The yellow leaf."
My dear readers, all six of you, I am sorry I have been so negligent. But this is my first day off since Memorial Day, which was my first day off since, I don't know...February?
I have started several blogs since then (and my fear is that this is just another one that will be scrapped) but not been coherent enough to actually post them. And it would be silliness to try to recapture what I wrote an abandoned.
-fun fact, I once was writing a novel (by hand in a notebook) and left it on a plane. I probably had a couple hundred pages of my first draft done. I never recovered it. And I couldn't bring myself to rewrite all I had written.
So, let me give you the highlights of what has transpired since I last wrote a blog. I turned 50. I'm ok with it. Actually, I'm sort of owning it. (Because I may be a mediocre looking 30's 40's dude, but at 50, I'm pretty well preserved.) We went through tech and opening of "Taming of the Shrew." Here's the thing about that...we had a much more condensed rehearsal process this year, and so the first Monday of our week is usually a train wreck. But this year, it was apocalyptic. I have mentioned before that there is that rehearsal where you think this is the end of your career. This was that...and so much more. Like this past Monday was so bad, that I felt that it would be pointed to as the final straw in the fall of Western Civilization.
It somehow came together. I'm not sure how, but as Geoffrey Rush famously said in Shakespeare in Love: "It's a mystery." But not much of a mystery, because Morgan Hill is a great Kate! And my BJ Allman is owning Petruchio. I have played Petruchio 3 times (the first of which I met my beautiful wife, Annie) and he has cracked some things open in a way that I never thought of. I am simultaneously annoyed with myself that I didn't think of them and impressed with him for doing so. And the final moment of her famous speech at the end of the play is simply perfect between them. Morgan is a new member of our family. But I heart her as if I've known her my whole life. She is so present and authentic! Aaaaaaah. And their relationship is flawless. That's the crux of the play right there. The rest of us just have to not screw it up. I'm doing my level best to meet that limited criteria.
And now I get to turn my attention back to Macbeth. Not that it has been far from my mind (or my dreams).--fun fact, I haven't slept more that five hours in any night since I started working on this play.
I'm a very different man than I was when I played Macbeth 15 years ago. I've had 15 years of constant training with the best artists in the world. I'm not kidding. When people talk of classical training, it can mean a lot of things. But for me, my classical training has been 15 years with Jack Stehlin and Alfred Molina at Circus Theatricals/New American Theatre, a summer intensive at the Denver Center with all of their brilliant artists. An MFA in acting at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival working with some of the greatest actors in the world. And being instructed by Ray Chambers, Greta Lambert, Denise Gabriel, and Dr. Susan Willis...among others. Plus 20 plus Shakespeare productions since then. I don't say this to brag. I say this to illustrate that I have put in all the hours needed to master a craft since I last played this part, and still I am terrified of it. I've also had 2 kids, moved four times and lost two parents. So, I can't help but be a different actor.
Jack (my mentor, friend, artistic father) just played it. I played Macduff to his great Macbeth. But we have talked about Macbeth for years. I actually played the bloody sergeant and murderers and Seyton to his Macbeth 14 years ago. Macbeth is a part that he feels is unattainable. And although I felt good in it 15 years ago, I got a lot of feedback about it--not all of which was positive. It's a a role that everybody has an idea about. Like Hamlet, but harder to play. I had good friends, (and strangers alike) telling me that I wasn't playing Macbeth (that I was playing Richard or Hal). To which I always responded..."no, I said all the Macbeth lines. I promise I was playing Macbeth." But that's just some of what awaits anybody daring to take on this role. And the same is true of Lady Macbeth. I mean, c'mon Shakespeare, in her first moment onstage, she summons devils to take her womanhood away so that she can be the man to help her husband kill the king. No pressure there. Fortunately, I have Melissa Booey as my Lady M. She is my rock, my marble, my dearest partner in greatness. And I have leaned on her heavily in this process. And like her name, she has kept me afloat. Together, they conquer the world, but apart they fail tragically. (spoiler alert, I guess). So that is the heart of this play for me. And this character. Our partnership against the everybody. And in this play, you have to fight for that, because it goes badly so quickly. This whole play is a roller coaster hurtling madly toward the end. And so there are moments in the beginning where you get to live with these Macbeths and feel their love and hope. But where does it stop? Because, for me, what is timeless about this play is the idea of how hard it is to do the first sin, but how easy it is to do the others in hopes that you can find your way back to yourself.
Melissa, Steph, and I worked together yesterday for the first time in a week. And it was so great to check back in and to sort of lock down the heart of the play. It made it seem less daunting. Of course, tomorrow brings another Monday at SBTS...so another end of my career sort of day. Hopefully it won't be as putrid as Shrew was last week. Because I don't know if I got another rally in my like I needed to do this past week.
Some random thoughts on Macbeth for you:
-He is super religious. He quotes the bible. He is deeply concerned with the after life.
-He and his wife are having problems having a healthy baby. Macbeth is really concerned about continuing his line. "Bring forth men children only..." "the seed of Banquo, kings?" "...no son of my succeeding."
-A not fun fact, Annie and I had a lot of trouble bringing a child into the world. We had 6 miscarriages (including two failed In vitro fertilazations which failed) before we somehow had Olivia --naturally-- in Alabama.
-Last time I played Macbeth, the dude who was playing the bloody sergeant came up to me and asked me what I thought this character was all about. I looked down at his script and noticed that he had all my lines highlighted. It was strange. I told him what I thought about my character (because we were colleagues) he started to tell me what he thought. I stopped him, and told him that I didn't ask for his opinion. This was the most Macbeth thing I could have done. He later got fired for some other reason.
-My previous Lady M (Renee O'Connor) was at "Shrew" last night with her lovely kids. Her eldest was still crawling around when last I did this play. Now he's in High School.
-My current Lady M (Melissa Booey) played Desdemona last year, and had to do so under crazy circumstances...with her Othello replaced during tech week. She was still brilliant, and we only got to share one moment last year, and this year, we are sharing everything! Also, she's great. Seriously, she's got all the tools. And the drive. And the brains. I admire her. And she is also suffering under the expectations of everybody else what Lady M should be. But she is handling it with more class and calm than I am.
-Macbeth and his Lady are a great couple because they fill the voids in one another. What we have discovered in rehearsal is that Lady M, is brilliant strategist in the moment. She sees clearly "how to catch the nearest way" but Macbeth's imagination is so profound that he sees exactly how the ripples of a stone dropped into a pool will play out. Nevertheless, he perseveres for her sake, because of his great love for her.
-I haven't captured the final fight between Macbeth and Macduff yet, as a choreographer. But by Thursday, it will be gold.
-Like Macbeth, I don't sleep.
-Like Macbeth, this does strange things to my psyche.
-There are a couple of things that I found 15 years ago that were so good, I'm doing again. There are a few things Jack did that were so good, that I'm stealing. And there are so many new things happening that this won't resemble that production much at all.
Tomorrow there will be blood. And costumes. Hopefully you will all come out for our previews on Thursday and Friday, or our official opening on Saturday!
I have started several blogs since then (and my fear is that this is just another one that will be scrapped) but not been coherent enough to actually post them. And it would be silliness to try to recapture what I wrote an abandoned.
-fun fact, I once was writing a novel (by hand in a notebook) and left it on a plane. I probably had a couple hundred pages of my first draft done. I never recovered it. And I couldn't bring myself to rewrite all I had written.
So, let me give you the highlights of what has transpired since I last wrote a blog. I turned 50. I'm ok with it. Actually, I'm sort of owning it. (Because I may be a mediocre looking 30's 40's dude, but at 50, I'm pretty well preserved.) We went through tech and opening of "Taming of the Shrew." Here's the thing about that...we had a much more condensed rehearsal process this year, and so the first Monday of our week is usually a train wreck. But this year, it was apocalyptic. I have mentioned before that there is that rehearsal where you think this is the end of your career. This was that...and so much more. Like this past Monday was so bad, that I felt that it would be pointed to as the final straw in the fall of Western Civilization.
It somehow came together. I'm not sure how, but as Geoffrey Rush famously said in Shakespeare in Love: "It's a mystery." But not much of a mystery, because Morgan Hill is a great Kate! And my BJ Allman is owning Petruchio. I have played Petruchio 3 times (the first of which I met my beautiful wife, Annie) and he has cracked some things open in a way that I never thought of. I am simultaneously annoyed with myself that I didn't think of them and impressed with him for doing so. And the final moment of her famous speech at the end of the play is simply perfect between them. Morgan is a new member of our family. But I heart her as if I've known her my whole life. She is so present and authentic! Aaaaaaah. And their relationship is flawless. That's the crux of the play right there. The rest of us just have to not screw it up. I'm doing my level best to meet that limited criteria.
And now I get to turn my attention back to Macbeth. Not that it has been far from my mind (or my dreams).--fun fact, I haven't slept more that five hours in any night since I started working on this play.
I'm a very different man than I was when I played Macbeth 15 years ago. I've had 15 years of constant training with the best artists in the world. I'm not kidding. When people talk of classical training, it can mean a lot of things. But for me, my classical training has been 15 years with Jack Stehlin and Alfred Molina at Circus Theatricals/New American Theatre, a summer intensive at the Denver Center with all of their brilliant artists. An MFA in acting at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival working with some of the greatest actors in the world. And being instructed by Ray Chambers, Greta Lambert, Denise Gabriel, and Dr. Susan Willis...among others. Plus 20 plus Shakespeare productions since then. I don't say this to brag. I say this to illustrate that I have put in all the hours needed to master a craft since I last played this part, and still I am terrified of it. I've also had 2 kids, moved four times and lost two parents. So, I can't help but be a different actor.
Jack (my mentor, friend, artistic father) just played it. I played Macduff to his great Macbeth. But we have talked about Macbeth for years. I actually played the bloody sergeant and murderers and Seyton to his Macbeth 14 years ago. Macbeth is a part that he feels is unattainable. And although I felt good in it 15 years ago, I got a lot of feedback about it--not all of which was positive. It's a a role that everybody has an idea about. Like Hamlet, but harder to play. I had good friends, (and strangers alike) telling me that I wasn't playing Macbeth (that I was playing Richard or Hal). To which I always responded..."no, I said all the Macbeth lines. I promise I was playing Macbeth." But that's just some of what awaits anybody daring to take on this role. And the same is true of Lady Macbeth. I mean, c'mon Shakespeare, in her first moment onstage, she summons devils to take her womanhood away so that she can be the man to help her husband kill the king. No pressure there. Fortunately, I have Melissa Booey as my Lady M. She is my rock, my marble, my dearest partner in greatness. And I have leaned on her heavily in this process. And like her name, she has kept me afloat. Together, they conquer the world, but apart they fail tragically. (spoiler alert, I guess). So that is the heart of this play for me. And this character. Our partnership against the everybody. And in this play, you have to fight for that, because it goes badly so quickly. This whole play is a roller coaster hurtling madly toward the end. And so there are moments in the beginning where you get to live with these Macbeths and feel their love and hope. But where does it stop? Because, for me, what is timeless about this play is the idea of how hard it is to do the first sin, but how easy it is to do the others in hopes that you can find your way back to yourself.
Melissa, Steph, and I worked together yesterday for the first time in a week. And it was so great to check back in and to sort of lock down the heart of the play. It made it seem less daunting. Of course, tomorrow brings another Monday at SBTS...so another end of my career sort of day. Hopefully it won't be as putrid as Shrew was last week. Because I don't know if I got another rally in my like I needed to do this past week.
Some random thoughts on Macbeth for you:
-He is super religious. He quotes the bible. He is deeply concerned with the after life.
-He and his wife are having problems having a healthy baby. Macbeth is really concerned about continuing his line. "Bring forth men children only..." "the seed of Banquo, kings?" "...no son of my succeeding."
-A not fun fact, Annie and I had a lot of trouble bringing a child into the world. We had 6 miscarriages (including two failed In vitro fertilazations which failed) before we somehow had Olivia --naturally-- in Alabama.
-Last time I played Macbeth, the dude who was playing the bloody sergeant came up to me and asked me what I thought this character was all about. I looked down at his script and noticed that he had all my lines highlighted. It was strange. I told him what I thought about my character (because we were colleagues) he started to tell me what he thought. I stopped him, and told him that I didn't ask for his opinion. This was the most Macbeth thing I could have done. He later got fired for some other reason.
-My previous Lady M (Renee O'Connor) was at "Shrew" last night with her lovely kids. Her eldest was still crawling around when last I did this play. Now he's in High School.
-My current Lady M (Melissa Booey) played Desdemona last year, and had to do so under crazy circumstances...with her Othello replaced during tech week. She was still brilliant, and we only got to share one moment last year, and this year, we are sharing everything! Also, she's great. Seriously, she's got all the tools. And the drive. And the brains. I admire her. And she is also suffering under the expectations of everybody else what Lady M should be. But she is handling it with more class and calm than I am.
-Macbeth and his Lady are a great couple because they fill the voids in one another. What we have discovered in rehearsal is that Lady M, is brilliant strategist in the moment. She sees clearly "how to catch the nearest way" but Macbeth's imagination is so profound that he sees exactly how the ripples of a stone dropped into a pool will play out. Nevertheless, he perseveres for her sake, because of his great love for her.
-I haven't captured the final fight between Macbeth and Macduff yet, as a choreographer. But by Thursday, it will be gold.
-Like Macbeth, I don't sleep.
-Like Macbeth, this does strange things to my psyche.
-There are a couple of things that I found 15 years ago that were so good, I'm doing again. There are a few things Jack did that were so good, that I'm stealing. And there are so many new things happening that this won't resemble that production much at all.
Tomorrow there will be blood. And costumes. Hopefully you will all come out for our previews on Thursday and Friday, or our official opening on Saturday!
Comments
Post a Comment